Survivors' Dictionary
This Carrd contains various definitions of terms and acronyms commonly used among survivors of trauma&abuse.The goal of this Carrd is to provide a simple and easy way to quickly access definitions of terms which are often misunderstood or not well-known to survivors who went through it.
It provides examples for each definition as well as links resources to access help.Due to the nature of this Carrd, this Carrd will contain sections describing severe abuse. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to this content.Because this Carrd describes sensitive content, please try to keep this Carrd only within survivor spaces or among survivors. However, you are free to share it with others at your own discretion.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is a long-term, negative response to an adverse event or series of events.
Trauma is commonly mistaken for the events trauma is often associated with, however trauma more heavily refers to the reaction a person has to an event rather than the event itself.
Trauma is an extremely complex response and its development depends on a countless number of factors.
What may traumatize one person may not traumatize another, and what trauma responses someone may develop following the events which caused the trauma varies heavily from person to person.Trauma is not always related to abuse, and any event (Such as a car crash, or the death of a loved one) may be traumatic.
What is Abuse?
Abuse is a broad range of actions which harm others, intentionally or not, knowingly or not.
Anyone can be abused, and abuse takes many different forms.
A list of various types of abuse is provided on the next page.
Various types of abuse may happen across a wide range of environments and relationships, and anyone of any sex or gender may participate in or become a victim of abuse.Additionally, an "abuser" is a term for a person who carries out abuse.
Emotional & Psychological Abuse
Emotional and psychological abuse is a broad category of abuse which targets the victim's emotions, mental state, or thoughts. Nearly every kind of abuse involves some kind of emotional or psychological abuse as a base.
Emotional and psychological abuse may be purposeful or accidental, and done either knowingly or unknowingly.
Emotional and psychological abuse also does not always have to be aimed at you for it to be abuse. Hearing emotional and psychological abuse directed at others, such as your parents always calling each other horrible things or your sibling always insulting your friends also may fall under this category.
Examples of Emotional & Psychological Abuse include, but aren't limited to:
-Insults (Such as "You're stupid" or "You can't do anything right")
-Yelling or screaming
-Comparing you to other people (Such as "Why can't you be like them?" or pressuring you into behaving a certain way so you don't "end up like them")
-Placing pressure on you to always perform well (Such as get good grades or do your chores perfectly)
-Mocking or questioning your choices or actions (Such as "If you become an artist, you'll be living under a bridge", "You pick the dumbest friends", or "What made you think that was a smart idea?")
-"Jokes" at your expense (Such as "Look who finally came out of their room!")
-Lying, or promising something only to betray your trust later
-Passive-aggressive or backhanded comments (Such as "I can't say anything around here without you reacting" or "You're so smart, unlike your brother")
-Commenting on your behavior or body (Such as "Have you considered losing a little weight?" or "You shouldn't wear that, it makes you look like a prostitute" [Also see Sexual Abuse and Grooming])
-Refusing to give you comfort [Also see Neglect]
-Threatening you if you do not do something [Also see Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, and Conditioning]
-Blaming you for making them feel suicidal, or threats of suicide or self-harm
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is a type of abuse which targets the victim's physical safety. This may be accomplished through various forms of physical touch, threats of injury or death, or someone using their body or a tool in a way which causes a perceived threat to your physical safety.
Physical abuse may be purposeful or accidental, and done either knowingly or unknowingly.
Examples of Physical Abuse include, but aren't limited to:
-Threatening you with a weapon, or talking about how they want to or should physically hurt you (Even if not acted upon)
-"Jokes" about hurting you
-Using their body to corner you, get in your face, or scare you (Even if they do not physically touch you)
-Restraining you
-Grabbing, pushing, or pulling you
-Spanking
-Hitting or slapping
-Pulling hair
-Kicking
-Burning, choking, drowning, cutting, or giving you electric shocks
-Hurting other people and threatening to do the same to you
-Having you watch videos of physical abuse or death and saying that will happen to you if you do not do what they say
-Telling you they should do "worse" to you next time
-Things framed as play, such as "rough-housing", if you did not consent to it or they do not stop when you ask them to stop
-Locking you in a room as a punishment (May also tie into Neglect)
-Threatening to kill you, or describing how they would kill you or bury your body
-Threatening to throw you out onto the street or to take away basic needs such as food or a place to sleep (May also tie into Neglect)
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is a type of abuse which is sexual in nature. This may range anywhere from sexual comments and harassment to sexual assault and exploitation.
Sexual abuse may be purposeful or accidental, and done either knowingly or unknowingly. Sexual abuse also may come from anyone, including your family or children of similar ages as each other (See incest and COCSA).Many of these examples may also be very context-dependent. The most important thing to remember is that if you did not consent, or if you were a child and an adult or older person said or did these things to you, it was likely sexual abuse.
Examples of Sexual Abuse include, but aren't limited to:
-Commenting on sexual parts of your body, such as your chest, butt, crotch, genitals, thighs, or other sensitive areas
-Trying to control the way you dress so that you do not appear too sexual to others
-Calling you hot, sexy, or petnames
-Introducing you to sexual content very young, or forcing you to watch sexual content
-An adult telling you about their sexual encounters
-Someone describing what they would like to do to your body sexually
-Rape or sexual assault
-Touching your body in a sexual manner or in sensitive areas
-Having sex in front of you
-Forcing you to undress or dress in front of them, or wanting to watch you shower
-Talking about how pretty your body is, and how whoever you marry will be lucky
-Asking you about sexual things you have done
-Masturbating in front of you
-Forcing you to cuddle with them, or forcing you to touch them in sensitive areas or massage them
-Squeezing or slapping your butt, hips, thighs, crotch, or chest
-Talking about you or your friends in a sexual manner, or being overly interested in you and your friends having sex
-Telling you your friends want to have sex with you, or describing fantasies they have about people assaulting you
-Telling you "everyone has sex" or "everyone likes sex eventually" if you do not like something they are doing or if you are not interested in sex
-Taking sexual photos of your body
-Wanting to see you naked
Neglect
Neglect is a type of abuse where the victim does not receive basic needs, such as comfort, love, food, water, shelter, or clothes, or recieves much less of these things than is required.
Neglect may also be conditional, such as receiving needs generally but being refused them if you do something wrong, or neglect may be inconsistent.
You may also be neglected while other family members, such as siblings, are treated much better.
Neglect may be purposeful or accidental, and done either knowingly or unknowingly.
Examples of Neglect include, but aren't limited to:
-Not comforting you when you are crying
-Not caring about your life, such as how your day was or how you're doing
-Not checking in with you or talking to you
-Refusing to acknowledge your emotions or needs
-Refusing to take you to a doctor or not taking you in for regular check-ups, or not buying your medication [Also see Medical Neglect]
-Not buying you new clothes or shoes when yours are too old and worn to wear
-Not buying you enough food to eat, or not making a child enough meals to eat
-Not buying you enough personal products to reasonably care for yourself as a child, such as not buying period products, soaps, or deodorant
-Not allowing you to shower or clean yourself
-Not caring when you are failing in school
-Failing to take you to school or to appointments [Also see Medical Neglect]
-Leaving you alone at home for extended periods of time
-Recognizing you have visible self-harm on your body, but not caring
-Telling you as a child that you need to be independent in a way that is inappropriate for your age
-Expecting you to take care of your younger siblings instead of the parents doing this job [Also see Emotional Incest]
-Not caring about your interests or hobbies